let go while u still can

love this phrase at this point in time. so much so that i haf got more things to write about now.
it is so filled with despair and disappointment. it feels so 'stuck' as well.nothing can be done to remedy.nothing can be done to help. it seems like an advice as well. like an advice to all who still can make a choice, make a stand and be able to live with it. certain things are like this,when u have started it, you can no longer walk away.things no longer just concern you, but everyone around you. when this happens, you are no longer deciding based on what you want, but due to the others which your decision affects. in simple terms, you are no longer you. you are them. you have lost yourself to them. they have taken priority over your preference. it is no longer possible for you to act on your own accord without being termed as irresponsible.

your life is no longer yours but theirs'

this is when you know that letting go is not an option.

this is also when you know when you have to take responsibility for the choices you make.

after you make your choices, you have no choice.



certain things are just so amazing. when wavelengths no longer meet, there is simply no common grounds for discussions or talks. everything will be misinterpreted and everything will be misunderstood. everything will need explaination and everything will make you sick and tired. differences that once seems new and fresh will appear as thorns that you will want to irradicate. when one starts doing this, wounds will results. after the wound heals, scarring will set in. one wound is bearable, but when it increases beyond your threshold, you will seek anaesthetic. the sweet relief of anaesthetic is addictive and it will soon serve as a form of escape route. when one is looking at the escape route for too long, they will forget what made them want to enter the room initially. when they resent being in the room, regret entering the room, everything in that room is an eyesore. once regret and resentment builds, it turns into anger. and anger is this powerful weapon that one uses to hurt anyone or anything in the room. with anger as the weapon, the word 'sorry' is the shield. with both weapon and shield, the battle begins. whenever there is a battle, theres bound to be casualties. it could be the sword bearer, the shield bearer or simply a passerby. war is bloody, war is full of mistrust, full of suspiscion, full of hatred, full of pain, full of resentment, full of disgust, full of weariness, full of guilt, full of regret, full of all possible negative feelings and emotions. when everything is all charged up, the only way will be to let go.

let go while you still can..

let there be peace on the universe, the world, the country, the city, the community, the household, the individual. let there be peace on me.

All for NOthing

All for something which may not be right, all for something which may not be comfortable, all for something which may not be suitable, all for something which may not happen, all for NOthing.

sometimes people are just so silly. why do they even want to try when it gets just too hard?why do they even want to try when there doesnt seem to be light at the end of the tunnel? why do they even bother? do people really like to challenge themselves?try to go against fate?try to manipulate the world and all around them what they want them to be?

its just scary how misleading anyone's pride can be. is it becos of this pride that they do not let go and let things go the way it should?it is this 'never give up' aspect thats giving people some false impression of light at the end of the tunnel, oasis in the middle of the desert..

*trying too hard may not be good. let go while u still can.*

Disney on Ice

went to watch finding Nemo on Ice @ indoor stadium..it was a plesant surprise.. actually planned for Michelle's bday..but i didnt know about it too.. hee.. the show was really nice..really cute too! it was a revist to the childhood dream of going for such a show..always dreamed of going for it since young.. but didnt have a chance to..at least 20 years down the road i finally got a chance to hold popcorn in one hand, candy floss in the other, sit so near the skating rink and watch all the characters "fly" on the ice..mickey, donald duck and all..the story was the same Finding Nemo from the movies just that its acted out live! the props are really amazing.. the scale of how big the whale actually is is really impressive.. not to mention the indoor fireworks..such a surprise.. :) this is definitely a show i will bring my boy-boy and girl-girl in the future..haha..

Silence as a form of communication

since when did silence become another form of communication?since when did silence become the best way to confront a problem and solve it?since when did ignoring become the most efficient way of conveying a message?is this type of silence good?good that it helps avoid confrontation?no.. neva agreed to that. to me this was all rubbish.totally escapist.

but now?i have succumbed and relented. i have failed my philosophy. realised that tiredness have all sorts of possible influences, be it good or bad.

it is a very thin line between using silence as a form of communication and giving up. its so thin, i cant see it anymore.

suddenly feel so lost, like my world lost its center. intensity of things does make ppl lose themselves. I have lost myself in the process. cant remember what i was like in the past.its a distant memory.

my CNY

Princess Royale and her entire Kingdom wishes all a Happy new year!

Princess just came back from her CNY trip to Genting..though it was a short and nearby one.. but it was one which is SYMBOLIC.. :) it is the first time they ALL went on a trip together..though there are few unhappy moments, but its still fun having u (Prince T) ard..much much better than without u ( Prince T).. *big grinz*

well..wat can i say abt Genting?neva liked it anyway..haha..was dragged there..if not for Prince T, i wun even be going..haha..thanx for all the monopoly sessions with Prince E and Prince T..our cursed game of pool and bowling till our nails start to break off (i mean literally! its painful *sob*) Princess bought quite a number of cosmetic from Kate..(Prince T not Nabe! *grunt*) highlight flash, finish mascara..bought a diva-ish bag too.. neva mind if its the 137th bag that Princess have..there isnt much difference between 137 and 136..really couldnt resist this furry one from Korea..awww...it doubles as the 245th soft toy..haa...

will upload some of the dumb photos we took..its hilarious..*rolling on the floor laffing*

other than that? Princess is back in the lab..working on her Polyvinyl Alcohol electrospin..hope everything works out before tomorrow! got some reporting to do during meeting.. *triple grunt* and where, where, where is my antibiotics!! quick deliver them to the Princess so that she can do up her work on antibiotics!!

also Princess's schedule is so packed ever since she got back!went to watch Norbit yesterday, today going to Prince T's house for CNY, tmr going to rest after a long day of work and meeting, sat going to Princess J's house for CNY,nice buffet, board game sessions and BIG ang baos here i come! Sunday will be visiting Princess's grandparents.. the Grand-King and Grand-Queens..sounds busy enuf for the Princess..Packed all the way till Sunday~

BTW, Norbit is fun! haha..some brainless jokes..but well, its sometimes good to not use your brain too much.. Runs the risk of overheating..
-------------------------------------------------------
the new season of clothes for the Princess?
DIVA is the word! don't understand?look to Jolin Tsai~ Princess have got the same clothes as her! *big grins*

Give me time

how i wish i have the time. all the time in the world..i would take a break, do my long long long overdued experiments, do up my review journal paper, plan for my project directions, have a proper discussion with my students on UROP, FYP and the MLE module..I wouldnt mind a short hols..am so looking forward to the bangkok trip in Jul..so near yet so far..how i wish i can haf a 2 hours super slow lunch..without anything on my mind..wake up without the ringing of alarm clocks that set my head ticking and ringing for the hectic day ahead..

am not simply sitting there to wish..i guess it takes a person of average intelligence to know what he/she wants..but take an exceptionally clever one to make it happen..perseverance is another quality to have for all who are in the same shit as me..plenty of mundane meetings, here, there, everywhere..plenty of nitty-gritty things to handle..and there goes ur day..hectic, tiring..but nothing done. Mayb am just too obsessed with doing everything perfectly..even those small little things..or mayb am just poor in my time planning.am tired..am frustrated.. :(

just added 8 items to my already long To-Do-List..after a 1 hr meeting..*feeling faint*

now i know why superman needs to assume a normal person's identity and not be superman all the time..Nope! not becos of his ugly "uniform"..but simply becos its too tiring~

Valentine's day

v day is just a highly commercial day. A day where couples still quarrel, girls and guys still get heartbroken ( in fact more than normal days i would think)..seriously Princess is beginning to dislike today..firstly it started off in a real bad note & princess's ez link card has got no more money, gotta use coins for bus tmr morning.not looking forward to anything.not even a single one. would rather drown myself in experiments tmr den to think of anything else. expectation kills everything.. not adopting a sore loser-who-cant-get-a-date mood..but rather dun see why things get so hyped up..its pointless.wats the point of spending a bomb on roses or gifts when u cant even understand the person u so called love?get the idea?

As for princess?Her Majesty dun need anything special. just need a man who understands her and knows what she wants and what she needs.seriously, this is even harder to find than a 3 carat pink flawless heart-shaped diamond.

hmm.. Princess sounds pretty mis-understood huh?with so much emphasis on understanding and all..Oh well.........

Princess thinks what those so called "losers" said in the past are beginnning to make sense: 'everyday will be v day if u are happily in love'.. neva gave this much thot and now thinking back, these are just the older ones, not losers. Princess is getting old.

work..funny work..

just received this link from neighbouring lab on their bacteria infection of their cells..cant believe that Sambit actually made a video for the bacterias and posted on youtube! u've gotta see it to believe it..its hilarious..must really comment that the song REALLY suit the topic..haha.. "i know u love me..I know u want me..."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=m-HlWtCH7gk

for those who are not familiar with cell culture and stuff..Technically speaking they are culturing specific types of cells and it so happen that bacteria come along and contaminate the culture, thus throwing weeks, months of work down the drain..cos cells are what we want, not bacteria..

talking about work, here's Princesse @ "work"!

can see the difference?can see the smile behind the mask? ;)

anyway, there are other photos which i dun think its appropriate for Princesse to post..so make do..and for those who knows where this is/what this is all about:
i know it feels terrible to not see results after trying for these few times..and yes there is always sacrifices..but i guess this is research and what we have to do is to always muster the courage to continue this road where no one has trod and be a true trail blazer.. *Salute to all researchers in the world*

Ole Ole oLe OLe!

Singapore won!!congratulations to the Lions! We beat Thailand!yeah... Well done Lions! :)

Princesse went to watch the first leg live at the National Stadium!it was such a great experience watching it live with 55000 fellow Singaporeans..after the match Princesse was practically voiceless..Kallang wave neva felt so good..the experience was complete with those super jokers who were suaning and hurling insulting remarks at the thais..not very nice but well, if we take it in a different light, things arent so bad..what can i say, they are just thinking aloud i guess.. *shrug*

Other than the heart throbbing moments whenever the ball went near Lionel Lewis (no, not that kind of heart throbbing..but out of fear i must say..who knows when he will gabra?;P) i've gotten some other insights from this chain of football action..

feel that its indeed hard to be gracious..when the thais were "bycotting" the match, lots of mean words were flying all over the national stadium..even the Thais back in Thailand could not truly accept their boycotting behaviour..GRACIOUSNESS..is it reali so hard? i would think so..recalling the "boo-ing" that were taking place whenever the opponents took control of the ball and the silence at the Thai stadium when Singapore scored..I truly think so..after they've lost the match, not much ppl bothered staying behind to see the Lions basking in their moment of glory.. it was quite a ironic sight when u can see the Lions smilling, celebrating, kissing the cup in the near-empty stadium..even i myself find it hard to be gracious at some point in time during the match..is it human nature?something that cant be changed?who can be so gracious and not be classified as fake?will we ever see real graciousness and not chuck it aside, classifying the person as a fake-o?hmm.. *shrug* but i must say that soccer is a fun game to watch and u MUST watch it with people who are super biased jokers.. it is a game to be enjoyed with a rowdy crowd..maybe best viewed in the ah-beng manner.. :p

The "reddened" National Stadium

To Princesse's left..

To Princesse's right..

Singapore Vs Malaysia

was watching soccer yesterday nite.. yes, Singapore vs Malaysia.. Didi got tickets to go see it live neva tell me! ended up watching it at home.. but well, its still quite fun..boy was Indra handsome.. maybe as compared to the others on the field.. but think can safely say that he is charismatic ba..
nono.. dun start thinking that i only watch for the "hunks"..cos this is NOT EPL or other leagues..as compared to those, there is nothing to watch!hee..skills wise?wat can i say.. the lions look reali lethargic..restless.. but i think if i were to go and play, i'll be crawling by the 3rd min..so i can only sit on my comfy chair and comment..hee..
overall its a draggy match..other than the blunder by lionel, and our goal, there was nothing much to note..cant reali blame our goalie i guess.. its just that the other team is so lucky.. :(
and also..thruout the 2nd half, i keep hearing Bernard Lim saying "someone suck"..if u recall carefully i guess u will noe who's name he was trying to pronounce..wat else can i say?*sigh* my deepest condolences.. :P

summing it all up

This week has been a week of emotional roller coaster..but well, when there is up, there has got to be down i guess..and nothing comes for free..Respect and understanding is something that all have to bear in mind be it in relation to frens, family and relationships of all kind..

for this week, i've gotten my new specs!new image!my new tutty nerdy specs..but do hope its more interllectual den others..haha~ quite expensive i thot..spent $285..but i guess its cos the frame is Emporio Armani..anyway who can see that tiny little logo on the side of the frame? its barely 0.3cm.. :( didnt get it cos of the brand la..so it doesnt reali matter.. hopefully its the quality..hee..

The long awaited

May i present to u, one of the Prized possession of Strawberry Empire, its very own National Wine!

the first time i drank it was i tink a week or 2 ago..at this German wine bistro, Magma.

located somewhere near SGH if i am not wrong..hee..my goodness.. when u first bring the strawberry wine close to u, the sweetness of the strawberry invades ur nose..den when u tip a little sip into your mouth, the fullness of the wine circles round ur mouth..it brings with it the sweetness of strawberry, infused with the wine's aroma, bringing out the hint of strawberry's sour..neva knew that sourness is such a great compliment to the taste.. it is the wholeness of the flavour that entices.. after u've swallowed it, thats not the end!! the fragrance of strawberries fills up ur entire head.. can reali imagine strawberry smoke coming out of my nose and ears..totally hypnotising.. " i am a strawberry..."

Werder Feinkost Erdbeer-Wein

other than strawberry wine, i've tried their honey wine.. nice oso and taste kinda like Choya plum wine...sweet and fragrant..

Also tried their "pizza", instead of the normal tomato sauce, chesse and wat not of the normal pizza..this one has sour cream instead!

Here is their famous dish..Roast pig trotter!though i do not touch pig trotter..but in this case i enjoyed the crunchy skin, juicy and collagen-ful meat..yum yum~

Rules of life

1. no one should control your life
2. no one should tolerate another one's harsh & offensive tone.(if u think that by tolerating and bearing with it, its called love. i'm sorry but u are disillusioned. This is abuse.)
3. one's happiness is the result of choice, not anything else
4. couple= 2 ppl who shares BOTH the good times AND the bad. (if its just good times, he/she is just your fair weather fren. if its just bad times, he/she is just someone u make use of.)

~With regards to the previous entry, the producer apologises for the delay in broadcast due to some technical problem.~

who are u?

my my.. didnt expect to see my site meter jump! thot this will just be a quiet little blog where i rant and rant into the vast cyberspace..thank u ppl! was looking out for comments (aka interaction with the unknown digits on my site meter) or at least let me know who is peering through the clouds into my strawberry empire..hee.. well, just a little thot..hee..

There will be a live broadcast of the crowning of the National Wine of Strawberry Empire! Will do that when i get home and have the time to sort out the pictures..hee..

which wine will make it to be the National Wine of Strawberry Empire? which is the wine which will be crowned and given the tittle of a National Treasure? Which is it?From which country?France?where most good wine come from? or is it somewhere else in the world which produced this wine worth crowning?

STay Tune! :P

Are u Korean?

Met a Prof from Korea this afternoon..he came to give a talk and get to know more about the scaffolds that our lab uses..and guess wat?yes u guessed it.. He asked me " are u a korean?" !!that got me real happy..hee.. a simple "kamsahamida" earned this question that totally brightened up my day!haha.. call me a bimbo and i dun care!am jus happy with the statement..i noe i noe.. he can ask this question in like 1 million ways and mean 1 million things.. (eg, doubtful tone-"are u a korean?") but heck! i dun care! i shall interpret it the way i want!haa...:P

his ka-kia oso asked us to take a photo together..becos of my simple thank u in korean?haah..maybe..*shrug* but the photo was damn weird.. i mean it! cos i was standing right in the middle, in between my Prof and the Korean Prof..and a row of ppl at the back.. can u imagine?looks as if i am the one giving the talk and the most impt one there, surrounded by the 2 most impt ppl..*faint* cant wait to get the photo though.. duno if i will get it..hee.. *promise to post if i get it*

during the talk, there was a screening of a "thank you" video to Michelle Wie ( the female golfer)..kinda weird but well she donated $300000+ to the program..but dun think this is a large amount of money for her *roll eyes*. Still any amount is large if it comes from your heart..
yes yes was talking abt the video..its quite touching.. almost cried at certain instances and had to look away..when i did that, POOF! the smell came hitting at my nose! there is smell of pee~~~~ my goodness..wat is the smell of that doing in a seminar room?i haf no idea..eh oh....refuse to think! *shake shake head*

Dental Appt

just came back from my dental appt @NUH..was super duper late..and yes, u guessed it..my new dentist is super upset..*sigh* wat to do?JAM... anyway had 3 xrays done..duno how much (yes, much..uncountable) cells are killed in the process..and after the xray is out, guess what dentist said? "oOoOo..ur xray slide looks happening..alot of things can be done it seems" *faint* (i really mean literally) this is definitely not a good thing to hear from the dentist..upon furthur probing he just brush off with " its good clinical practice for US"..US??how many dentistsss am i going to see? how long am i going to be stuck with them before they let me off the prog?*faint again*

nono..dun u start thinking that my teeth is full of decaying, rotting and brown teeth..i haf perfectly nice and whitish-yellow teeth..which my dentist's Prof said its just going to be a simple case for him BEFORE the xray..reali wonder wat the freaking xray revealed..am dying to know..well, looks like i wun noe until the nex appt..*keeping my fingers and toes crozzed*

nice movie

Caught a movie recently..Night at the museum.. Nice! its sweet, heart-warming..funny..

Moral of the Movie (no, not story)
no matter whether u are a doctor, lawyer, President, or a security guard..u can still be the "King" of your field! and be a great man..

~to be a great man, u dont hafta have special power..u just need a heart~

Recruitment Ad!

Why are there no strawberries in this strawberry empire?
Princesse Royale is still on the lookout for good strawberry pics, backgrounds to be recruited.. Please inform Princesse if u find any potential guardian strawberries for the strawberry empire..

In need..

The almighty Princess of Strawberryland has decided to set up another site for the blogging needs..too many things to post and her previous site is currently in a mess..ABsolute mess..all thanx to the "free" online storage for pics etc..grr..quick get on ur knees and beg for forgiveness!

shall spend some time making this strawberryempire slightly more decent..meanwhile,Princess shall take her leave and prepare for the perfect opening of strawberryland..