fate

i do not know if certain things are fated.. no matter how hard both parties try, the outcome will still be the same.. its as if someone is telling me, if things are not meant to be, no matter how much effort you put in, it will still be the same.. efforts will still be unoticed and only bad things can be seen..

i hate this feeling.

i hate this feeling that i cant do anything, as if bounded by imaginary forces and controlled by someone with stronger power. i feel like a puppet living out just one of the stories the author wrote..is there really nothing anyone can do?

certain things are so intangible that even no one can talk about it..there is no words that can describe or illustrate..sometimes its not words but its the pressure, the ego, and many many more that prevents anyone from talking about things..i'm pent up with thoughts and emotions that can go no where..it is then i appreciate this space i have..although i know no one talks back to me but i know someday somehow someone will see this and read this and know what i mean.



having a super bad headache now..its as if my head will explode with a light touch..but i know this is not the worst and where it feels the worst. the worst is yet to come.

i pray that i have the strength and mental health to carry on..i know there is a God, but i don't have a religion. so i hope the real God gives me the power to walk on..

i feel alone.

or maybe i have the compulsive behaviour of wanting to remain in contact with people. i duno. i need help?maybe.