Wedding Prep

its 81 days to our wedding.. and we have been busy!
so far we've managed to engage Don-Don to be our interior designer.. from weiken.com.. he is such a nice guy..its guranteed to be fun and filled with laughter everytime we meet.. but somehow his designs are always not what i wanted it to be.. he loves bali-resort style but what i want is luxurious hotel style and what thomas wants is modern style.. so we are still in the midst of discussion.. :)

it seems that our house has amazing MANY recess areas! too many for good i must say.. so its super challenging for don-don and us to design the layout etc.. and we've just decided to use the layout of the bedroom by top designer Erin! haha.. amazingly the one i've designed was more designer-ish.. and more creative i must say.. :P nothing wrong with being satisfied with my own design right? ;p
actually i must admit that i am a super difficult customer.. hehe.. but well i've got my principles to stick to! :P i told don-don explicitly what i am looking for... keywords: luxurious hotel style, plenty of sunlight, plenty of room, a king size bed, a bathtub, a walk-in wardrobe.. and the rest i can close one eye..
but it seems that to satisfy my all my criteria, i really need to live in a hotel.. bleah.. :(

thats for the house..

will be going down to fullerton to decide on the deco theme and wedding invites today.. excited.. hope they have what i fancy! being notorious for being particular, i have to keep my fingers crossed.. :P

as or my gowns, i am so in love with michelle's design!no wonder i am paying such premium to get my gowns done at Bridal veil.. she has given me 4 designs to choose from for my wedding gown, but i am so super stuck! cant decide which one to choose! can anyone help?! am supposed to tell her which one i want by tues! urgh! and first fitting will be next week! amazing speed at which they sew the gowns! no choice i guess as my photoshoot will be on the 12 oct!

just settled the actual day wedding photography.. its going to be by kelvin of avenue 8.. his photography is not too bad and he has quite an impressive portfolio for shoots at fullerton hotel.. am in safe hands!

but somehow i am more excited about my pre-wedding photoshoot by kelvin from potraits! yes, both are kelvin.. how nice to call all my photographers kelvin.. they only have 1 name for me to remember! haha.. pure coincidence la.. i am so so so so in love with this kelvin's photos.. artistic to the max! am so going to blow up big pictures of us and fill up all empty walls of our house.. hehehe..

sweet air~

somehow the air smells sweeter when u see people in love.. newly in love, very in love or elderly in love.. somehow this warm and fuzzy feeling arises when i see old granny and grandpa hold hands..

just checked my facebook and saw my pri sch best fren got attached.. and immediately the air smells sweet! so nice to see loving couples!

somehow it makes the process of wedding prep sweeter too.. too many decisions to make at this time.. deciding which gown design to take.. how to layout the house and what style to design it in etc.. its tiring but i guess worth every single brain cell i destroy in the midst of it..

i am sick again. this time wishing someone will just come and blow up my head. panadolsss no longer work. maybe dying in my sleep sounds like an attractive option now..all in the name to gain relief.

fate

i do not know if certain things are fated.. no matter how hard both parties try, the outcome will still be the same.. its as if someone is telling me, if things are not meant to be, no matter how much effort you put in, it will still be the same.. efforts will still be unoticed and only bad things can be seen..

i hate this feeling.

i hate this feeling that i cant do anything, as if bounded by imaginary forces and controlled by someone with stronger power. i feel like a puppet living out just one of the stories the author wrote..is there really nothing anyone can do?

certain things are so intangible that even no one can talk about it..there is no words that can describe or illustrate..sometimes its not words but its the pressure, the ego, and many many more that prevents anyone from talking about things..i'm pent up with thoughts and emotions that can go no where..it is then i appreciate this space i have..although i know no one talks back to me but i know someday somehow someone will see this and read this and know what i mean.



having a super bad headache now..its as if my head will explode with a light touch..but i know this is not the worst and where it feels the worst. the worst is yet to come.

i pray that i have the strength and mental health to carry on..i know there is a God, but i don't have a religion. so i hope the real God gives me the power to walk on..

i feel alone.

or maybe i have the compulsive behaviour of wanting to remain in contact with people. i duno. i need help?maybe.